emoing at the gym because everything is just yucky. maybe it’s cause i’ve been watching body bizarre that was playing on discovery channel and the whole episode was just depressing. maybe it’s cause after all this while i find out that there’s still no complete trust between us and that means the only way we are going is down, kind of what i was hoping for but still. maybe it’s cause i’m hungry cause i’m so broke that i have no lunch money. maybe it’s just cause i’m broke and that’s just not exciting.
so i was watching this guy in his twenties on body bizarre saying that he wishes to find a girlfriend that would love him and give him all of her love, so that he could have real love, and it just got me thinking whether we are just selfish for wanting love??? like is romantic love in itself actually selfish as opposed to selfless??? we love because we want to be loved?? or do we love being loved or feeling like we are in love?? yikes thoughts yikes.
sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.