why

It’s been months since I last spent a Sunday afternoon alone.

It’s 3.40pm and I just watched a couple of episodes of AOD downstairs, procrastinated with my phone, made myself cup noodles, and am ready to get down to studying for this Saturday’s CITS final exam – then it rained. It would’ve made a really nice emo moment to study and listen to nice music but ugh ants. It’s been raining everyday here for a couple of weeks (I think?) now so the poor ants’ homes are destroyed and they are frantically looking for new places to settle down and I feel sorry for you but not in my room little insects, no. Spent yesterday putting citronella oil literally everywhere so that these ants hate my room but why are y’all still here T.T My room already smells like an insect repellant factory sobs please just go :(:(

Also I have so much to catch up on and yet I cannot get myself to start studying because yikes numbers and figures and debits and credits and audit standards and CG codes codes codes. Sigh.

On a brighter note, the brother just went for undang test this morning. Hope he quickly gets his license so that I can get a new car heeeheeheeeeee. Much eggcites.

Also read a weird af webtoon yesterday it was so weird and at the same time hilarious that I finished the entire series at one go. And it got me very conscious about my dead skin so I spent a really long time scrubbing in the shower. Everybody please read this.

Also need to stop falling sick 😦 My immunity has plunged millionfold ever since I got my wisdom tooth extracted (I think). I am very broke can I not have to spend money on medication dear immunity please be good thanks.

Blahblahblah have an arg essay to work on lols when was the last time I actually wrote an essay hmmmmmmmmmm bye.

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emoing at the gym because everything is just yucky. maybe it’s cause i’ve been watching body bizarre that was playing on discovery channel and the whole episode was just depressing. maybe it’s cause after all this while i find out that there’s still no complete trust between us and that means the only way we are going is down, kind of what i was hoping for but still. maybe it’s cause i’m hungry cause i’m so broke that i have no lunch money. maybe it’s just cause i’m broke and that’s just not exciting.

so i was watching this guy in his twenties on body bizarre saying that he wishes to find a girlfriend that would love him and give him all of her love, so that he could have real love, and it just got me thinking whether we are just selfish for wanting love??? like is romantic love in itself actually selfish as opposed to selfless??? we love because we want to be loved?? or do we love being loved or feeling like we are in love?? yikes thoughts yikes.

sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

109°

4.30am. I was supposed to go to bed like 5 hours ago but here I am cause I couldn’t get over a stupid iPhone game. Spent 4 hours playing 200+ games to hit 4-digit score and swore to never touch this game ever again. Sigh, priorities.

Have so much F7&8 to catch up on but what am I doing with life!!! I feel obliged to accompany the mother to the gramps’ but zzZ I really need sleep + would rather stay home and hopefully study. :(:( Mock exams are in a month siaoooo stress I know nothing what IASs what IFRSs what ISAs whaaaaaat and I really wanna do well for P1 cause I got 57.5 for PT and turned out I got the highest in my group hahaHAhAhahAHA wtf joke sia this group. But thanks for the motivation 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Am so broke for the month and I’m not even half way through March and I’m running out of stuff sigh pls intro home job eg “Single Mother Earning $4000 per week From Home! Find Out How!” tengs.

Actually just rambling while waiting for blackhead strip to dry and I think it’s dry kthxbye!!