Up in flames.

Last Saturday, my parents dragged me along to my brother’s BB enrolment/awards day at 6+AM. It was towards the end of my semester break, so let’s just take a moment to imagine how reluctant I was. I wasn’t surprised that I was the only non-parent around. So there I was, a teenage girl in the middle of a hall consisting of proud parents and a company of BB boys, questioning the purpose of sacrificing my Saturday morning sleep. Being a mission school, of course they had the standard opening prayers and worship sessions and more prayers and benediction, and it just felt like MG all over again. It wasn’t till then that did I realise how much the kind of Christian environment I was in helped to keep my faith more or less rooted and stable. As dry as they used to be most of the time, I miss Monday chapels. I miss starting every week being assured that I am loved, and that God is in control, that He will always be there despite whatever, that forgiveness is always just a prayer away, that not for a second am I ever alone. The last time I actually attended a service was probably a year ago, or longer. I blame myself for having taken church and school for granted, because now that I’m no longer within a Christian environment, socialising is a whole different experience. Nowadays, 2 Cor 6:14 constantly comes to my mind. I just hope I stop drifting away – it’s a terrible feeling.

On another note, I was scrolling down and looking back at my older posts and I was absolutely appalled by how disastrous my writing is getting. Guess I really gotta polish up my English a little. And my brain has been pretty rusty in the sense that I kind of just stopped thinking about stuff altogether. I had phases when I was overthinking to the extent that I had too much thoughts for my own mind to handle, and now I’m like on the other extreme. I don’t know which is worse – being overly aware of things, or being completely shallow and ignorant.

Somebody motivate me, please.

They say you only regret the things you don’t do. 

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Posted in Air

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