Ocean.

Who would have known that banging a teddy bear against the window accidentally could lead to a 20 minutes lecture? Swung the bear too hard and it hit the plastic part of the blinds towards the window grill and it was apparently so loud that mom could hear. So she came in and accused me of smoking oh wow you should be a detective. The world would be in jail, lovely. Because she is too smart, she is so suspicious that she can come up with so many stories in her head and convince herself that they are all true and actually happened. Oh yes I hide random sticks of cigarettes in my room and smoke them at night, certainly. And sure, I buy perfumes and reed diffusers and toy fresheners to get rid of the smell of smoke. Duhh, when I look away I am obviously rolling my eyes because everybody knows that your pupils aren’t supposed to move when you make a 180• turn. Darned, I am terrible, ain’t I? All so defensive over somebody else that you failed in parenting, and now I get all the lecturing, as usual. I love life.

Threaten me some more, go ahead.

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