I am just really sad right now. Maybe it’s the rain, or maybe it’s the solitude. It’s just one of those days that I want to stay in an air-conditioned room all day, not giving a shit about how crappy I look, drink tea, listen to old songs, tumblr, be alone, and be sad.
This made me tear:
I’m just extremely sentimental right now.
Kind of just figured out something that made me feel cheated. This sucks some shit.
I just want to disappear and pretend that there is no HCL that I have to face tomorrow. Because my mind is a mesh of hatred and guilt and remorse and confusion, and many other unidentified emotions. I know I am being terribly awful but it seems that this is the way the world works.
It’s when I see things like this that I regret not having lived my earlier years to the fullest. But then again, the cycle of dwelling in past regrets repeats itself again and again for most of us, no?
There was this something that somebody said to me that really struck me hard. I mean, he was probably just being his cheesy cliché self but it was really something that led me to a serious reflection session with myself.
Because I know what I want to do with my life, and that makes me wanna wake up every morning, because I know that everything that I do is one small step to a bigger future.
Like, shit man. Let’s get married.
It was really something “wow” for me because I seriously have zero idea what I will be like 5 years down the road. I have nothing that I am particularly interested in, or really anything useful at all that I’m especially good at. I’m just that mediocre. I’m neither here nor there. I guess I can probably do anything thrown at me but the passion is lacking, the motivation is not there. The worst part is that I can’t make a decision. You know I really hope he doesn’t come across this post one day because that’d be pretty damn awkward.